- Equation of Transition -

M.O.E these are for you ~~~

Di dalam keramaian aku masih merasa sepi …
Sendiri memikirkan kamu …
Kau
genggam hatiku
Dan kau tuliskan namamu …
Kau tulis namamu …

Tubuhku
… ada disini
Tetapi … tidak jiwaku
KOSONG yang hanya kurasakan …
Kau …
telah tinggal di hatiku …

Kosong, by Dewa

My life
You electrify my life
Let’s conspire to re-ignite
All the souls
that would die just to feel alive

I’ll never let you go
If you promise
not to fade away
Never fade away

Starlight, by Muse

I’d give it all
I’d give for
us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you
know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away
for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never
go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

Far Away, by Nickleback

What would you say if I told you that the first birthday celebration I had was when I was 17 years old, in 2000? Prior to that I had none. Not that my family does not celebrate birthdays or what. Another story for another time.

I still remember that celebration, as vividly as if it was only yesterday. I had two (huge) square cakes, 1 chocolate, the other a lemon sponge with peanuts on the side. There were gifts too, wonderful gifts. I got a big white teddy bear with the number 2000 embroided on its tummy and a slim Canon IXUS camera. I still sleep with that white teddy (no longer white, worn-out, but still cuddly as ever Noname) and eventhough the camera is no longer usable, those were the presents and the celebration that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. I’ll probably tell it to my grandchildren (if there ever occur a situation which requires me to reminisce the good old ‘boarding school’ days).

To me, it was an almost perfect celebration. The only thing that marred it was the absence of my kind sponsor. But still, it was as good as it gets.

I’ve been infected with the LDR bug.

As advised by Dr. Love, I need a high dose of Emotional Support, and injections of TLC at frequent interval. I might also want to visit support clinics – attend the ALDRA (Anonymous LDR Association) for faster recovery.

Well, I tried 2 explain to him (Dr. L) that I’m in love with my pharmacist (that makes him my LDL) and the support clinic that I frequent – Best Friends and Associates are at present does not hold anymore teleconference sessions and does no longer wish to sponsor me, as their schedule are quite occupied.

But that would make it seems as if life for me is doomed – I’ll b forever infected – and me being a helpless optimistic, refuse to admit the direness of my current condition coz I’m still hoping that I will be cured.

Which left me with two options – placebos (talking to my other split personalities and console ourselves) or denial (I am NOT infected with any bugs whatsoever).

O… M… G…

I guess I am sick (ran back home and bury myself in the deepest hole I can imagine).

<It’s all in my head… it’s all in my head… it’s all in my head…>

RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. When I write on a new page, before writing the first word, I’ll hover the pen and scribble on the air, just an inch higher from the paper, of how I’ll write the word or what I’ll write. I only realize I do this when a friend point it out to me. I suppose that’s weird.

2. When I talk/discuss a worst case scenario/something ugly that I don’t want 2 happen 2 me (or us), I’ll change the pronoun to the third party. As in, instead of saying “What if I got fired?” I say, “What if she got fired?”. I say “What if something bad happen to them?” instead of ‘us’.

3. Goes without saying, I think talking about things that does not yet take place may jinx it, and I say ‘knock wood’ (or Nauzubillah depending on the situation) when some1 says something bad.

4. I think outcast are amusing individuals I like learning how their thinking differ from most ppl, and I can easily accept misfits. I believe the world will be a better place if we accept ppl the way they are, and if there’s no norm we must conform to. Accept, but there’s no rule saying you have to like every1. no1 likes every1 (I mean, seriously.) But I absolutely abhor any1 who tries TOO hard 2 b different, coz in the end they’re just… freaky. Freaky no likey.

5. I like nicknaming ppl. I used to laugh at weird names I heard (on TV) or read (in the paper) and launched into “If he/she was with me in kindergarten/primary school, I would’ve called him/her (something hilariously funny but annoying)". I’m just good at rhyming words I guess, bet that’s the ugly side of poets you never knew existed >:D I once called a friend Maimun, and it stuck (sorry Mun, but it’s not that bad eh?). Rest assured, I also had my fair share of bad nickname (I hatehaTEHATE it when ppl call me P’zahG–) so after that I only give them sweet nicknames (e.g Niemo, Lynk, Wawee, Doofy) and keep the ‘ugly ones’ in private.

6. I still watch cartoons (channel 60,61,62), especially when I want 2 unwind or when there’s nothing else worth watching We’re all weird in our own ways, so let’s just… tag other ppl and see how weird (they don’t realize) they are heheh. I’m tagging Lynk (once u’r back from ur trip), doofy, kirei-san and kate (who hasn’t update their blogs), shawn (coz I think she tops my list of complex being), and last but not least, other ppl who wanna do this

Cheers, you weirdos!

How many times have you ever wanted one thing, went to look around and wanted the OTHER thing?

e.g when you went to Jusco to look for a new dress, but you happen to get a look on this gorgeous jeans that you HAVE to own :-O Even when it’s waaAAaay over your budget, you’re willing to wait for SALE just for the simple but essential fact that you just, HAVE, to have it.

In my case I had wanted to get a Desktop. I did not really actually wanted it, because I have been doing without one for as long as Architecture School and survived, I just can’t see why I need to own 1 now. However, some1 have been (gently) prodding me 2 get a start on my writing; no more accepting the ‘writer’s block’ excuses. I mean you have to admit, the office atmosphere is not exactly conducive for writing heart-wrenching sci-fi. Let alone poetries or mushy love stories. So I agreed to get a Desktop, since I see it would be useful in the future for my assignments, report writing or whatever else that I require to do.

“Let’s get the most reasonable one. Nothing fancy, just the average desktop that won’t need upgrading twelve months after I use it.”

“As long as we get one, babe.”

So the story goes, we went to our friend Mike (Dell) for quotations but it’s a bit more expensive then the previous offer. So we decided to wait when Mike discounts for CNY sale. I can wait.

So as fate had it, I had the itch (I know, it’s always been me with the itch, never the other half) to look around for Computer shop (when all the while we know that Mike’s the best when it comes to quality and affordable price). The other half just tagged along (now I wonder if the person already knew the outcome of this silly request but play along just for the heck of it).

Guess what we saw?

                        AcerPower 2000

Small, Powerful & Affordable

(Check it out @ w ww.acer.com.my)

Now I just HAD to have it.

BUT.

But what if Mike gave us better quotation? What if I had to wait months before I can purchase this cute-lil-slim-and-sexy-black-stylish-dammit-i-GOT-to-have-it gadget? What if Mike’s price was really low and this one stays high? What if Mike can give us the same spec with lower price? What if Mike can give us better specs with less money?

I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to do business with Mike anymore. Maybe I will not sleep if I don’t own that sexy little thing. Maybe if I get something else, I will live in despair as my heart will always yearn for him (oh yeah, it’s a him alright!). Maybe. Who knows?  <pix: Me fighting for it with the other half>         

But it’s just a central processing unit (i.e a CPU), isn’t it? My heart should not skip a beat every time I think about it. It’s just one part of a desktop. Nothing special. Seriously.

Seriously? Someone, sedate me.

Hahaha… Nampak sgt xde idea nak buat tajuk best :p

Today, I want to blog about…everything, i.e everything i can.

do you know wuts the difference between i.e and e.g? well ppl usually made the mistake of using them both to state examples, wic is quite common actually, since technically it’s only a difference of 1 letter.

So i’m gonna shed some light to you ignorant abbreviation users! (rejoice!!!)

i.e is used when u want to further explain something. for example a girl say; " i NEVER wanna go there, i.e never in a million years." She’s stressing that she does not wanna go there.

Wic is different if one says; "If you HAVE to go there, you could bring tonnes of things to entertain yourself, e.g mp3 players, ipod, scrabble, wutever, u know…"

Notice the difference?

Maybe it’ll make us remember easier if we understand wut the abbreviation stands for.

i.e. - abbreviation of the Latin words ‘id est’, which mean ‘that is’.

e.g. - abbreviation for the Latin words ‘exempli gratia’, which means ‘for example’.

(sources : www.wikihow.com)

so people, let’s use our i.e and e.g correctly from now on!

next - have i watched ‘Death Note - The Last Name, and wut do i think of it

Have i watched it? yes yes i have

wut do i think of it, hmm… so-so. i still wonder why L had 2 take a drastic step just to convine Soichiro Yagami (Light’s Otosan) to follow his plan, isn’t L the brain behind capturing Kira? Coudn’t he just order Soichiro to execute it? On that part, the comic ending is more believable. Goes to say, L’s ending is not benefiacial to any1 at all. For someone who believes in making sacrifices,to waste his talent jez becoz of Watari’s demise is pointless. If you’ve ever heard anybody says living (not dying) is the best revenge, believe it. It seems petty to me if L’s made that decision simply becoz of Watari’s predicament. Furthermore, who’s to say that Ryuk won’t do wut he did (dropped another Death Note) again?

OF course, being said that one can always argue that there’s probably a few more fish from the sea that L came from (in the manga, there were 2 potential predecessors to succeed L). I jez think it’s lame to see another undeveloped genious going high on sugar and being too smart answering all the questions and riddles, cute and amusing as they may be.

Would i recommend it?

Only if you’ve watched DN 1. otherwise watch something else, save the person next to you the trouble to explain things while trying to actually watch the movie. (no offense to you Dear ;p)

and that sums up our everything. ciao!

IF there are things bout some people that you don’t quite comprehend, I’d say it’s okay. What is not okay; when you don’t even bother to try to understand. Human is originally complicated, and each is made different from the other. So I guess what some people say is true:-

                                   NORMAL IS OVERRATED.

However, there exist individuals who THINK that they understand(when in truth, they don’t), and they FORGIVE. We continue to forget that to err is human, but to forgive is divine.

Newsflash :- Forgiveness is important, but even more important is understanding. The latter should come before the former.

Kirei-san, in order to have a working relationship, the door must swing both ways. In my humble opinion, it’s not quite right to emphasize on the needs of the other person before our needs. In order to be happy, you must first be happy with yourself. Love thyself before you love the other. It might sound selfish, but it works. In order to give, you must first know how to receive.

Instead of always excepting the lame excuses, understand why there needs to be an excuse on the first place. Understanding helps you to forgive. Don’t just forgive because you refuse to face the truth. Because you refuse to accept the facts. FACT:- Excuses are the one most tactful way to say ‘NO’.

Don’t be angry if there aren’t any excuses at all. It just means there’s no other excuse than a plain ‘NO’. Some people force themselves to do what is expected of them. They consider themselves to be a martyr (Are they really? It is a syndrom people are most prone to. It is a sickness we are yet to find a cure for). Some people do/don’t do what they want/won’t to do. So if you receive a ‘NO’, love enough to accept it as an answer - Life is short. If he/she didn’t do anything, it is because he/she refuses to. Nobody put a gun on his/her head. But aren’t all human being granted the power of free will? Do we have a right to be angry at his/her decision?

Sometimes, my answer is just NO. I have my own excuse, and if I don’t tell you, it just means that I don’t trust you enough to ‘understand’. It is as simple as that. I don’t waste my breath pacifying someone who obviously refuses to understand.

So maybe he is like me. Maybe all he need is just some space. Some trust. Some love. Some acceptance. MAYBE.

Don’t just forgive someone, like you have so much authority, like you owe him/her, like he/she should be forever indebted to you, like you have every right to dictate his/her life. You don’t. Nobody does. If you did that, and when history repeat itself - you will kick yourself hard in the behind because you let it slip. Then you will think how horrible life is. How unfair you’re being treated. REMEMBER: It did not repeat itself.The problem did NOT go away because it was never solved in the first place.

This may seem harsh to you, but I’m just frank and truth hurts. That’s the reality of it. If you really know me like you say you do, then you will forgive me because you understand that I’m only being honest. I can’t be tactful, I lack tack. I don’t hate you. I only hate one person in this world, and it’s not you.

Points to Ponder: HATE is not the opposite of love. INDIFFERENCE is.

examoron = moron to the power of 18.

Sentence example :

"It’s a piece of cake so come up with your own example, examoron."

Yesterday : Take your actions seriously. Don’t move just because you’re afraid to stand still.

Today : In your life right now, are you driving for success, or are you just driving around?

Tomorrow: If making the most of a situation doesn’t appeal to you, then make do with less.

It’s a sign. It’s definitely a sign.

I got hooked on the song long before I know what it’s all about.

"Lips Of An Angel" - HINDER LYRICS

Honey why you calling me so late?
It’s kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper ’cause I can’t be too loud

Well, my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

Isn’t that the most cruel truth you DON’T ever wanna hear? Sometimes I wonder why human makes thing hard for themselves.

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Don’t you think it’s funny how we fall in ? Or suddenly out of it? It’s like we have no power over it. Powerless, broken, on the cloud nine; it’s all mixed-up.

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And, yes, I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue

Relationship is not easy. Never has been, never will be. It’s like everything in life – u have to work to make it work. I guess it’s impossible to understand because it’s a living thing. Maybe is Human, maybe it’s a tree, maybe it’s a bird. It needs ‘trust’ to make it strong, ‘hope’ to make it grow, a lot of TLC… and God knows what else.

MY point is… it’s a very nice song, but it’s got a bitter story behind it. A wise man said;

" Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic. " - Oscar Wilde